Calamity ([info]reckless_saturn) wrote,
2006-02-09 00:42:00
i so miss having a close group of friend to hang with, to talk to, to be understood by. i feel these feelings even if i am new mexico or when i am at home. i set it all up, but i wish i could take it back. i feel invisible. everything is changing and i am just not that close to people...what is life trying to teach me?? i think i am disappearing, does any see this?

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  • 8 comments

[info]reckless_saturn

February 9 2006, 08:01:16 UTC 6 years ago

can i re-create that friendships that i caused their ending?? i don't know. but i miss my past, miss my friends who carry our collective history. i don't know what i am saying. i am trying to find a place in my friends' life even as everything changes...caity is going to be the hardest...maybe i should accept the moments as they come and that everything in life is constanty in transition and to not become attached. i know i am loved, but i am i thought of a friend as well?? i don't know, but much of this lies on my shoulder which makes it harder to bear. i miss the girlies i had history with...do you remember??

[info]ayla_3388

February 9 2006, 13:30:05 UTC 6 years ago

welll we didn't have no history
but we are making a present
loves ayla

[info]bipaganfreak

February 9 2006, 14:09:01 UTC 6 years ago

i recall~
it was a long time ago
not sure what i can do

im still here though
i was not the one who left
sounds like you could feel alone in a room full of people
that can be an overwhelming feeling

my suggestion
make peace with yourself
the rest will fall where it may
*hugs*

Teensy

[info]ayla_3388

February 9 2006, 15:48:34 UTC 6 years ago

well put teensi
sidda

[info]reckless_saturn

February 9 2006, 17:05:47 UTC 6 years ago

hugs and loves to you all...thanks for the kind words.

andrea i know you aren't the one who left. i admit that. but we are working for tomorrow!! yes, yes!!

mostly i was sounding off about my friends that i have known since elementary school....girls i have been close to for forever and we are slowly but surely drifting apart and i think i am learning about non attachment....which is about making peace with the nature of the world.

my only objection is that y'all can not call each other your ya, ya names on MY JOURNAL unless i can have one too?? lol...lol out loud a lot.


[info]bipaganfreak

February 9 2006, 17:50:27 UTC 6 years ago

Ok then Vivvi~
just remember
impermanence baby...
you havent "lost" your friends
your just growing

no one "goes" anywhere
they live happily in the warm summer days of your mind with that hint of chlorine from the pool lingering into the now

teensy


[info]reckless_saturn

February 9 2006, 18:02:00 UTC 6 years ago

i love the imagery- beautiful!! my closest and dearest friends were made at the swimming pool- most of memories come from that.

so i am Vivi? what makes you think i am drama queen?? good pick.

love you. off to cuba, off to another world on saturday. y'all have fun!! don't disappoint most men's fantasty- y'all have to run around in your bra and underware and hit each other with pillows...lol.

have a wonderful weekend...i know it will feed every's soul...

[info]bipaganfreak

February 9 2006, 18:13:52 UTC 6 years ago

oh Vivi!
you havent heard?
the weekend has been cancelled!
most girls are sick and it is snowing where xena is and she cant get here

:(

i think i am going to get me a little submissive to play with this weekend

*grins*
she is a LOVELY thang
and new
:)

teensy
YaYaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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